


Silence

by donnawooza



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-06-17 02:43:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 10,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15451605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donnawooza/pseuds/donnawooza
Summary: When Dean was a small boy a human monster stole his childhood and his voice. Years later he leaves home by himself for the first time and meets Castiel. Will Castiel help find Dean's voice or is he fated to live in Silence?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time doing a Bang and I got paired with the fabulous Artist: whynotdosomethinggreat  
> I hope you like it. Link to art coming later

  


His mother grabbed him and put his little brother in his arms.

"Sshh baby, don't make a noise, please. Just hide in here and make sure you don't make a sound. Promise me, baby, promise you won't make a sound until I come and get you. I promise I'll come and get you soon."

He nods his head as his mother pushes him and his baby brother into the closet. He can hear thumps from downstairs and a loud voice swearing.

He is frightened but knows he has to stay quiet or else the monster downstairs will get them. He hears more thumps and a familiar voice screaming. He holds his little brother closer praying that he will stay asleep and not make any noise. The voice gets louder and he hears loud footsteps coming up the stairs.

He lays his baby brother down behind him. He will not let the monster get his baby brother. His eyes fill with tears and he bites down on his fist to stop the scream escaping. The monster is coming and he promised he wouldn't make a sound.

The footsteps stop and he hears a deep voice shout and an unfamiliar thumping sound. He has a bad feeling but he is a good boy and he will stay here and not make a sound until his mommy comes and gets him.

He doesn't make a sound when the door opens and the monster pulls him from the closet. He doesn't make a sound when the baseball bat connects to his skull.

He doesn't make a sound when he sees his mommy shoot the monster so the monster will stop hitting him.

He doesn't make a sound when the monster falls on top of him.

He doesn't make a sound as he is carried out to the ambulance. He doesn't make a sound when Uncle Bobby and Aunt Ellen explain that his mommy has gone to heaven.

He hasn't made a sound since he was 4 and his baby brother was 6 months old. He hasn't made a sound since his mother hid him and his little brother in a closet the night his father came home drunk and beat his wife so badly she died, but not before she saved her boys.

He hasn't made a sound since the day his father beat him half to death before his mother shot him to stop. He hasn't made a sound for 22 years.

He hasn't been able too, because he promised his mama he wouldn't make a sound until she came and got him.

And he's a good boy, who listens to his mommy.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean sat upright in bed, sweat cooling his overheated skin in the cool air of the apartment. He fumbled for a minute until his hand found the bedside lamp and he flicked the switch on. He buried his head in his arms and breathed heavily as the nightmare was banished by the light. He heard footsteps approach his bed and looked up to see Sam entering his room. 

"Sorry Sammy," he signed to his brother, "I didn't mean to wake you." 

The side of the bed dipped down as the 6' 4" man sat down. 

"You didn't wake me, Dean," he spoke softly, "I was awake and studying when I noticed the light come on." 

He looked at Dean, concern evident in his eyes, "Another nightmare?" 

Dean nodded, his eyes looking down at his hands, he was ashamed that he had disturbed his little brother. 

Sam sighed, leaning in to hug his brother, "Dean, you didn't disturb me, and anyone would have nightmares after what you went through." 

Dean blushed and pushed Sam away so he could get up.

"I need to shower, Sam." he signed, "I'm all sweaty." 

Dean grabbed some fresh clothes and headed to the bathroom. Dean flicked on the bathroom light and turned on the shower. He stood under the spray and wondered how Sam had known about the nightmares. 

"Sonofabitch! Bobby and Ellen." He got out of the shower and heard Sam and Jess talking about him. 

He blushed as he heard Jess "Sam, I know he is your brother but he makes me feel uncomfortable. I can't sign and I don't know what he is saying to you. I know he's probably not talking about me but I don't know for sure. And he's woken you up every night since he's been here."

He hadn't realised that Sam was woken up every night, this was the first time Sam had come in. Dean decided that he would cut his visit short, and leave in the morning. He didn't want to spoil his little brother's happiness. He lay back down, letting the memories overwhelm him.

******

Dean was tired of everyone knowing everything about him. 

The fact that his Dad was a mean drunk who beat his family. 

One night he went too far and if Dean's mother hadn't hidden her boys in a closet they wouldn't be alive today. 

Dean's Dad beat his Mom and then found his hiding spot. His Dad starting hitting him with a baseball bat before his fatally injured mother shot his Dad, before dying of her injuries. 

Dean was in a coma for 3 months and when he came out of it, he had permanently lost his voice. 

Although one doctor told him it was all in his head and he could talk if he wanted to. 

Uncle Bobby and Aunt Ellen and their daughter Jo became their new family. His new family learned to sign along side him and never once pressured him to speak and Sam and Jo were always at his side in case he needed to talk to other people. 

Even after he learned to read and write and could just use notes, his brother and sister wouldn't let him be alone or try to let him meet people on his own. 

He left school at 16, not even finishing the year out and Bobby gave him a job as a mechanic. He didn't need to talk to be able to fix cars and he was a natural. 

Jo and Sam got into college and left home but even then Dean still had no privacy. 

Bobby and Ellen wouldn't let him get a place of his own and since everyone knew about him, no one would rent him a place either. 

Bobby or Ellen went with him whenever he wasn't at work or at home and he was getting sick of it. 

His biggest dream was leaving and opening up his own classic car restoration business in a town where no one knew him. He saved every penny he could, (living at home meant he didn't need to pay rent, the only good side Dean had found) and finally he had saved enough. 

He told Bobby and Ellen that he was planning a trip to visit Jo and Sam. 

He was planning on driving BY HIMSELF in the 1967 Chevy Impala he had rebuilt from the ground up. 

They argued with him but he stood his ground, saying that he wasn't an invalid and he could take care of himself. They eventually agreed to let him go as long as he texted at least once a day. 

He just didn't tell them that he was not planning on coming back, that could wait until he had gotten his own place.


	3. Chapter 3

Several months later he had packed the trunk of the Impala, and he drove away leaving the town of so much heartache in his wake. 

He did feel a little bad about leaving under false pretences but knew that Bobby and Ellen would never have agreed to let him go otherwise. 

Dean drove until he felt hungry and then pulled into the first Diner he saw.

He felt nervous as this would be his first time in public by himself, but he forced himself to enter. Sitting down at a booth he studied the menu, looking up when he heard a noise beside him. 

"Hey Hon, what can I get you?" 

A tired-looking waitress stood beside him and he pulled out his notebook, "I have laryngitis," he wrote, not wanting to sign and have to get into long discussions about why he could hear but not talk. 

The waitress looked at the pad and simply nodded, "Fine Hon, write your order down then." 

Dean quickly scribbled down his order, elated that his lie was accepted. 

He ate his food, and continued on his way, noting that it got easier and easier to talk to people and everyone he met didn't seem to mind him writing down his answers or having to read said answers. 

***

When he got to Jo's he was a little apprehensive about how she would treat him. He needn't have worried, Jo threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly. 

"I'm so sorry Dean, I should have let you stand on your own two feet when I still lived at home. I've realised that I was partly to blame for how Mom and Dad treated you, if Sam and I had let you go by yourself sometimes you would be here at university too." 

Dean shook his head "Nah Jo, I'm too stupid to learn shit. You and Sammy got the brains in the family." 

Jo slapped him upside the head, just this side of painful, "I wish you wouldn't put yourself down all the time Dean, you have got brains, you are a genius with anything that has a motor or electronics." 

Dean blushed at the compliment, shrugging his shoulders. 

"Really,"Jo continued, "While you're here you should look into taking a few classes in computer studies or something. Maybe then you would stay here. I miss you, big bro." 

Jo hugged him again, "Now enough chick flick moments," Jo laughed at Deans grin, "Yeah, I know how you hate them, now let's go surprise, Sam, and Jess."

***

Dean was even more worried about how Sam would react, maybe he should have texted first to let him know but he was blown away by Sam's reaction. 

Jo had told Dean to stay down by the car and she would go and bring Sam down, "It'll be fine Dean, Sam will be thrilled to see you. He and I have talked about it and we both realised that we didn't do you any favours by being your babysitter all the time." 

Dean leaned up against the car, casually checking out the passers-by and if his eyes checked out guys more than girls well, nobody had to know but him. 

He straightened up as he heard Jo's voice, he really had good hearing and fidgeted nervously. 

Dean watched Sam's eyes widen in surprise when he saw the car, "Hey Sasquatch," Dean signed quickly when Sam's eyes met his. 

He didn't have a chance to say anything else as Sam grabbed him in a bear hug and lifted him off his feet. 

Dean tried to regain his dignity by slapping Sam on the back. It took 5 minutes of thumping before Sam put him down. 

"What are you doing here Dean? How did you get here? Are Bobby and Ellen here?" Sam's words tumbled over themselves. 

Dean held up a hand to get silence, "First, I came here to visit my little brother and sister," Dean grinned when Sam laughed, "I'm taller than you by 3" dude," Dean nodded and continued, "Doesn't matter Sammy, you'll always be my little brother. I drove Baby and no Bobby and Ellen aren't here." 

Dean looked at the ground a little worried about how Sam would take the news that Dean drove by himself. 

"You drove here by yourself," Sam repeated, "Dude, how did it go?" 

Dean looked up stunned, as Jo laughed, "I told you Dean, Sam and I talked and we were hoping that you would eventually get out by yourself." 

Dean blushed, as Jo grabbed his and Sam's hand, "Well Sam, are we going to stand out here all day or are you going to introduce your big brother to the love of your life." 

Dean smirked as Sam blushed and led the way to the apartment building.

***

Dean hung back, blushing when Jo tugged on his arm, "It's all right Dean, Sam and I have told Jess all about you." 

Dean shook his head at Jo "That's not it Jo. How is she going to feel about me showing up with no warning."

Sam glanced back to see what was holding the other two up, "Dean, Jess is going to be fine, you're my brother dude, she's going to love you." 

Dean shrugged and followed them up the stairs. He had never had a special someone, not even a one night stand, (the curse of living in a small town) so he trusted his family. 

Sam opened a door yelling "Hey Jess, I got someone here I want you to meet." 

Dean looked around nervously grabbing Jo's hand as he heard footsteps coming from the kitchen. He heard a gasp and smiled at the pretty blonde, holding out his hand as Sam introduced them. 

"Dean this is Jess, Jess this is my brother Dean." Sam looked a little sheepish, "I hope it's all right Jess, but I invited Dean to stay here while he visits." 

Sam blushed as two sets of eyes looked at him, "Sam," Jess almost growled the word, "Sam, what the hell. You never said anything."   
Dean's fingers flew as he glared at his brother. 

"Dean, you know you can stay here right. I shouldn't have to invite you." 

Sam blushed as he signed back to his brother, begging Dean to play along silently, "Jo lives on campus and we have an extra room," Sam continued out loud .

Dean shrugged and looked at Jess, and quickly pulling out his notepad scribbled on it before handing it to Jess. 

"It's fine Jess. I can go to a hotel. Sam should have asked you first." 

Jess blushed as she read the note, "Of course you can stay here Dean, Sam has told me so much about you. It'll be great to finally get to know you in person."

***

Dean came back to the present, he knew Jess was uncomfortable around him, especially when he and Sam talked, but he didn't realise she felt that bad. He got up off the bed and silently packed his clothes, he wouldn't wait until morning, he had slept in the Impala before and he would text Sam later, when he found a hotel room. 

He quietly left his room, years of fading into the background gave him almost supernatural abilities to move silently. 

He left a note on the table for Sam, not wanting his brother to wake up and find him gone and be worried.

Dean opened the door and slipped from the apartment and into his Baby. He started her up and drove around for a while before parking in a supermarket car park. He scrunched down in the front seat and closed his eyes, hoping Sam would understand why he left.   
He felt a tear slip down his cheek, knowing that it was his fault. That he had fucked everything up. 

The sun shining in his eyes woke him and he groaned as he untwisted. 

His phone was an uncomfortable lump in his back pocket and he checked for messages. He groaned again as he noticed it was only 5.55am. 

Sam would be sleeping still, his first class wasn't until 10. 

Dean started the car and drove to an early open Diner for a much-needed caffeine hit. 

He sat in a booth at the back and ordered a black coffee and a slice of apple pie, (shut up he needed something sweet for being woken up so early) and watched the rest of the sunrise. 

His gaze was drawn to the door when he heard a raspy voice ask for, "A milkshake and a slice of pie please Doris," and his gaze met a pair of electric blue eyes. 

Dean wanted to hear that voice again so he smiled and halfheartedly waved an invitation at the guy. He wasn't sure if the other man had recognised the gesture and was about to ignore him when he noticed the look of comprehension and the other man came over to the booth. 

"Castiel Novak," the blue-eyed man held his hand out.

"Dean Winchester," Dean signed before flushing and reaching for his note paper. 

His hand stilled, hovering over his pen when Castiel replied, "You did want me to join you didn't you, Dean Winchester?" Castiel laughed at the look of surprise, "Yes I can sign. I am a teacher at the university and several of my students have been deaf." 

Dean smiled, "I did want you to join me Cas, but you can speak. I had a," he hesitated a moment, "An accident when I was younger and it damaged my voice. So no voice but hearing is fine." 

Dean's smile grew broader as the sapphire-eyed man looked puzzled at the nickname. "Cas?" he asked Dean with a note of confusion, 

"Thank you Doris," he said to the waitress as his order was placed in front of him. 

Dean blushed a little, "Sorry, Cas is just shorter. I can call you Castiel if you prefer." 

It was Castiel's turn to blush "Cas is fine, just no one ever calls me that. I get Castiel, Mr Novak and my brothers call me Cassie," Cas grimaces at the confession. 

Dean grimaces in return and turns his attention back to his pie. 

"Great minds think alike," he gestures to his plate and then at Cas's. 

Castiel smiles as he notices for the first time that Dean is also eating pie. "Yes, I was up late last night grading papers and needed sugar to help me get through the day. I think they have the best pie here." 

He took a mouthful and Dean felt a jolt in his groin at the groan the other man made. 

Dean may not have had experience but he knew what he liked. The trip down here opened his eyes to his sexuality and a few encounters in a couple bars made him realise that he was attracted to men. 

And right now he was attracted to someone he just met.


	4. Chapter 4

Castiel entered the diner covering a yawn with his hand. He greeted the waitress by name, he should know it, he comes here every morning, and his breath caught as he saw a brilliant pair of green eyes sitting in his usual booth.

His mind blanked, was he getting an invitation, he wondered, before deciding that yes he was and headed over to the booth. 

He introduced himself, smiling slightly to himself as the jade-eyed man seemed surprised when he signed his reply. Castiel blushed when Dean called him Cas, and he heard the momentary hesitation when Dean mentioned his accident and wondered about it. 

He felt a warmth when Dean pointed out that they were both eating pie and he couldn't stop the moan when he ate his first bite.   
Cas blushed when he looked into green eyes and realized that he had moaned aloud. 

"Sorry Dean," Cas whispered, "I'm normally alone at this time and I didn't realize." 

Dean smiled the corners of his eyes crinkling, "That's fine Cas, I enjoy pie too and I have no doubt that I would make noise too if I could." 

Cas blushed harder as he remembered that Dean couldn't speak. 

"It's fine Cas, I haven't spoken since I was 4. It's kind of refreshing to have someone forget." Dean shrugged at Castiel's look, "It's a long story, and I don't want to scare you away." 

Dean glanced away, "I haven't got much experience in things like this, but I would like to get to know you a bit better." 

Cas reached over and placed a hand on Dean's, "I would like that too, Dean, but for now" he glanced at the clock on the wall, "I have to head to work, maybe we could get together tonight?" 

Dean smiled again and nodded, "What time do you want to meet Cas?"

Cas thought for a minute, "How about here at 6 pm," he waited for Dean's agreement, "Well I got to get to the bus stop before I'm late." 

He stood up and started to walk away, only to be pulled up short by a hand grabbing his arm. He turned around to see Dean frantically trying to get his attention. 

"Slow down Dean, I can wait a minute."

Dean took a deep breath and letting go of Cas's arm signed slower. 

"I can drop you off if you would like. My car is outside." Dean blushed again, "Plus I don't want to say goodbye just yet."

*** 

Dean loved talking to someone who didn't know his whole life story. And treated him like a normal person, not someone who had to be watched every minute. 

His heart skipped a beat when Cas agreed to meet later but fell when Cas said he had to leave.

Dean panicked, signing too fast to be understood, only slowing down and repeating his offer to drive Cas, when Castiel said he could wait.

Castiel smiled at Dean, "I would like that Dean, very much, I don't want to say goodbye just yet either."

Dean and Cas walked out of the diner, Dean gesturing to his car, "There's my baby. Now where am I dropping you." 

Cas ran his hand over the shiny bonnet, "She's beautiful Dean," smiling at the sight of Dean's face, "And you can drop me off at the university, I teach English Lit. there." 

Getting into the car Cas turned to Dean, "Do you need directions." 

Dean nodded, he knew how to get to Jo's dorm and Sam's apartment but because it was dark when he left Sam's and he had driven around a bit last night he was a little disorientated. 

Plus he wanted to hear more of Castiel's voice. Ten minutes later they were at the campus. 

Cas looked at his watch, "I seem to have 20 minutes before my class starts. Your car got me here faster than my bus does." 

Dean felt his face fall "I'm sorry Cas." Cas shook his head, "Don't be silly Dean, I don't mind being early, it gives me a chance to walk into class and be ready. Not running in and feeling like I forgot something." 

Cas looked down shyly, "Maybe you would like to come and see it." 

Dean was out of the car and opening Cas's door before the other man realised what was happening. 

"Maybe you could tell me if there are any mechanical engineering courses I could take," Dean signed shyly, "My sister Jo suggested I should take some. She only said it so I would have an excuse to stay." 

Dean blushed as he realised how that sounded, "I didn't mean it like that, I said I was to stupid to do Uni and she told off." 

He rubbed the back of his head in memory, "Actually she smacked me upside the head and told me to stop putting myself down and she wanted me to stay because she missed me." 

Cas laughed, "That's priceless Dean," he laughed again, "And yes I can give you a list of classes that may interest you."   
Cas blushed, "And I would like you stay too." 

Dean and Cas walked together to Cas's classroom, Dean grinning when he thought about how Cas wanted him to stay. 

Dean stood by the door as Cas looked in his desk for a list of classes. 

"Here you are Dean, there seem to be a few classes that sound like they would be up your alley." 

Dean had told Cas on the ride over, using one handed signs that Cas had eventually figured out what they meant, that he had rebuilt the Impala from the ground up recently and Cas had a good idea what classes would suit him. 

"Thanks Cas, the teachers won't have a problem with me not talking?" Dean looked a little upset. 

Cas hastened to reassure him, "Not at all Dean, just let them know when you sign up and you will either get an interpreter or your teacher will know how to sign." 

Dean grimaced at the thought of an interpreter, "Not another person babysitting me." His fingers dripped with sarcasm. 

Cas tilted his head in confusion, "Babysitting, Dean?" 

Dean shrugged "My family wouldn't let me go any where without at least one of them with me. I couldn't talk to anyone by myself, even when I could write they would speak for me." 

Castiel looked stunned, "No Dean I don't mean like that, your translator would only say what you signed. And you would only need them for class." 

Dean felt bad after Cas explained it like that, "I'm sorry Cas, bad memories." 

Cas smiled and handed Dean the list, "No problem Dean, I have an overprotective family too," Cas shrugged at Dean's questioning glance, "I'll tell you my life story if you'll tell me yours." 

Dean looked like a deer caught in headlights at the suggestion and Cas felt terrible. 

"You don't have to Dean, I would like to get to know you better that's all." Dean nodded, "I don't want you to look at me differently Cas." 

Cas reached a hand out and gripped Dean's hand, "I like you Dean, and I hope I am not so shallow that anything you say will change my opinion." Dean blushed when Cas touched him and he stepped back, "I'll think about it ok Cas. Thank you for this," 

Dean waved the paper, "And would you mind if instead of meeting at the Diner, I pick you up?" Dean looked at Cas hopefully.

Cas looked into wide green eyes and felt himself fall deeper, "I would like that very much Dean. My last class finishes at 4, and I would love you to pick me up. But I would need to go home and shower and change first, which is why thought we could meet at the diner." 

Cas could see the disappointment in those expressive eyes and hurried on to dispel it. "Dean, if you wouldn't mind dropping me off home and waiting for me to change you can pick me up then." 

Dean smiled "Could you point me in the direction of somewhere quiet so I can check out these classes please Cas? I have to do something while I wait and I might even enroll today if I find something interesting." 

Cas smiled back and rummaged in his desk again, "I can do one better Dean," he pulled out another piece of paper and handed it to Dean, "This is a map of the campus, it will show you where the library is and where the office is. In case you find something interesting." 

He let his gaze run up and down the younger man's body, "I hope you stay Dean because I find you interesting." 

Before Dean could say anything the door opened and the classroom started filling up with Cas's first class of the day. 

Dean headed to the door and waved with the papers Cas had given him, "Thanks, Cas, see you back here at 4." He smiled "I find you interesting too," and he was gone before Cas realized what he had said. 

When he did Cas smiled and turned to his first class of the day, his thoughts filled with thoughts of someone who said a thousand words without being able to speak one.


	5. Chapter 5

Precisely at 4 pm, Castiel was just finishing his last class when he felt someone else gazing at him. 

Turning to the door he noticed it was Dean who had a cat that got the whole bottle of cream, type of smile on his face. 

Talking to the last few students Cas wondered what Dean had done in the hours he had been alone. 

When the last person had gone, Dean entered the room, not seeming to be bothered by the fact that every single person had given him a quizzical look as they left the class. 

He was waving a piece of paper over his head and signing excitedly with the other. 

"Dean, slow down," Cas laughed at Dean's excited babbling, "I can't understand you. Slow down and use both hands please." 

Dean smiled even wider and handing the piece of paper to the older man slowly signed, "I went to the library and checked out some of the courses. And," he stopped and waited to laugh silently when Cas growled, "I enrolled in a computer technology course. And I also decided to take a mythology class too." 

He blushed when Cas looked at him, "I learned early on that I can talk to computers without a voice and I like mythology." 

Cas reached out and laid a hand on Dean's arm, "I'm not judging you, Dean," he said softly, "I believe you could do anything you wanted to. I'm just amazed that you chose to take two classes when this morning you weren't sure you wanted to stay." 

Cas hid his smile when Dean blushed at the praise and he quickly gathered his books and things "Come on then, I've had a long day teaching and I'm looking forward to talking to an interesting young man I met this morning." 

He stole a sideways glance at the man walking beside him, "He's not here yet, but if you want to wait with me for a few minutes he may show up."

Cas took a few more steps before realizing that he was alone. 

He turned back only to feel a light tap on the back of his head, "Hey," he protested, "I was teasing you." 

Dean smiled, "I thought you wanted to wait for this other guy to show up. I had a better offer but took pity on you. I didn't want you to think you were being stood up." 

Dean started to walk off, smiling wider as he heard Cas sputter behind him, "A better offer, pity, stood up." 

Dean turned to face him, still walking backward so he could sign, "I thought a guy who taught English Lit would have a better command of the English language."

Dean nearly walked into a wall at the expression on Cas's face, "Your classes were on the list you gave me Professor Novak." 

Dean turned around and headed toward his Baby hearing Cas laugh and hurrying to catch up.

***

The pair headed towards the Impala Dean asking "Cas, I went exploring after I enrolled this morning and I found a coffee shop nearby. Would you mind if we went there instead of the diner? I really want to get to know you but I have an early class in the morning and I will need to go tell my brother that I'm fine. I left a note when I left but he's probably still worried." 

Cas smiled, "That's fine Dean, I know that coffee shop well. And I wouldn't mind an early night myself, I can't live on pie alone," he laughed as they entered the car and Dean drove off. 

They reached the coffee shop and Cas offered to get their coffee while Dean got a table in the back. 

After getting their order and sitting down Cas started talking, "My parents are very religious," he smiled at Dean's puzzled glance, "I'm telling you my life story. You did say you would like to get to know me didn't you?" 

At Dean's nod, the other man continued, "My older brother is named Gabriel after the archangel and my younger brother is called Balthazar. My parents disowned me when I told them I was gay when I was 16. I moved in with Gabriel and he and Balthazar encouraged me to become a teacher. Gabriel has a sweet tooth and he specialized in creating desserts. Now he has his own shop, Angel Cakes and he has just signed a contract to open a second shop. Balthazar is in antiques, he loves old things and history so becoming an antique dealer suits him down to the ground. And I became a professor. I have had a grand total of two relationships in my life. The last one over two years ago. I live in a two bedroom apartment just off campus and the only other person I know by name is a waitress in a diner. Well, I did meet someone this morning who agreed to have coffee with me. And that is my life."

Dean smiled, "My story isn't as nice as that Cas, and before I tell you it I just want to say thank you for today," he took a deep breath and began, "My father was a mean drunk. One night when I was 4 my mother hid me and my 6-month-old brother in a closet and told me not to make a sound until she came for me. He found me and beat me half to death. He had already beaten my mother and left her for dead, but she managed to shoot him before he could kill me or touch Sammy. She later died from her injuries, and I haven't been able to make a sound since then because she didn't come to get me. We went to live with our Uncle Bobby and Aunt Ellen and their daughter Jo. They were very protective of me, and didn't care that I couldn't talk even though doctors told me it was all in my head." 

He nodded as Cas interrupted him with a terse, "The babysitters you told me about," before he continued, "Yes, I still have nightmares and the one good thing about having no voice is I don't scream but I do walk around. We lived in a small town, so everyone knew what had happened to me and pitied me. I dropped out of school, Uncle Bobby gave me a job as a mechanic and Sam and Jo came here to college. I rebuilt my baby and decided to stand on my own two feet and took a road trip here. And I too am gay but have never had a relationship in my life. My family doesn't know yet, I only just discovered that myself on the out trip here. I must be the only 26-year-old virgin to start college," he smirked a little, "After surprising my sister when I showed up without warning yesterday and after she apologized for having no room for me to stay, she took me to surprise my brother. He invited me to stay with him and his girlfriend without asking her and I'm afraid I woke them up when I had another nightmare and I overheard them talking about how I made her uncomfortable because she can't understand me when I sign. So I may have overreacted and I left and slept in my car last night. And that's my life Cas, are you going to walk or run away now you know?" 

***

Cas reached out a hand and grabbed Dean's, "I am going to sit here and talk to my new friend about his classes that he is starting in the morning. And I am interested in knowing if my new friend has thought about a place to stay. If he hasn't I have a spare room in a very quiet apartment, no strings attached. If he is interested." 

Dean blushed and removing his hands replied, "I thought about getting a hotel room to start with while I looked for a place, but a friend of mine told me he has a spare room that I can have. Thank you, Cas."

Dean looked down, but not before Cas saw the tears glimmering in his eyes. 

Feeling his own eyes start to fill Cas took a deep breath to steady himself, "Well Dean, since you and I both have early classes in the morning, how about we just head to my apartment and get you moved in. We can order pizza or something. Or we can go somewhere else for dinner if you want. Or we can stay here a bit longer, it's your choice Dean." 

Dean looked up and smiled, "Pizza at your place sounds good Cas. I wouldn't mind a good nights sleep in a proper bed. I love my baby but she is not the most comfortable place to sleep." 

Dean and Cas stood up and headed for the door, "Hey Cas, if it's ok with you, can I drop you off at your place so I know where it is and then I can go let Sam know what's going on?" 

Dean was half turned toward Cas and didn't notice the person who had gotten up from a table at the other end of the room behind him.


	6. Chapter 6

The first he knew was a hand grabbing his shoulder and pushing back and then his brother was in front of him yelling at him and Cas both.

"Dean, where the hell have you been, Jess and I have been worried sick about you, you know you can't be by yourself, you know you need me to talk for you, and you don't know anyone yet. I was going to introduce you to some people I know that would be your friends, and they would stay with you when I can't," he turned to Cas, "And who the hell are you? How did you meet my brother and why does he need to know where you live. My brother can't say no, so are you planning on taking advantage of that?" 

Cas felt his temper rise, "I met your brother this morning when he invited me over to share his booth when he was having coffee after he woke up after sleeping in his car. After he left his brothers house when he heard he made his brothers girlfriend feel uncomfortable because she couldn't understand him when he spoke. And he is going to move into my spare room until he finds his own place to stay." 

Cas glanced around to find that Dean had left the coffee shop without either of them noticing.

Sam threw his hands up in despair, "Great, I am supposed to be protecting Dean and this is the second time I've lost him."

Cas snorted in disgust, "If you really knew Dean, you would know he doesn't want or need to be protected. And he doesn't need you to make his friends for him, he can do that on his own. I just hope that he still wants me as one," and without a second glance at the taller man in front of him Cas stalked past him and walked out of the door. 

*****

Sam grimaced and headed back to Jess who he had left when he noticed his brother walking out with a complete stranger.

He stopped in surprise when he noticed that Dean was standing beside the table he had left and he felt ashamed when he recalled the things he had said in anger. 

"I'm so sorry Dean, I didn't mean it," he started to apologise but was cut off by an angry Dean. 

"I AM SICK AND TIRED OF PEOPLE WHO THINK I NEED TO BE PROTECTED ALL THE TIME," his gestures proving without doubt that he was shouting, "I HAD THAT ALL MY LIFE. POOR DEAN, HE CAN'T TALK SO WE CAN'T LET HIM OUT OF OUR SIGHT. POOR DEAN, WE'LL HAVE TO TALK FOR HIM. POOR DEAN CAN'T MAKE HIS OWN FRIENDS SO I WILL MAKE MY FRIENDS LIKE HIM AND SPY ON HIM WHEN I CAN'T BE THERE TO KEEP AN EYE ON HIM. WELL YOU KNOW WHAT SAM, I DROVE HERE BY MYSELF IN MY OWN CAR WITHOUT HELP. I MANAGED TO EAT AND GET A HOTEL ROOM WHEN I NEEDED IT. I EVEN KISSED A FEW GUYS WHEN I WENT TO A COUPLE OF BARS AND HAD A FEW DRINKS. I GET HERE THINKING MY BROTHER WOULD BE HAPPY TO SEE ME AND INSTEAD HE THINKS HE HAS TO BABYSIT ME. WELL FUCK YOU SAM. I DON'T NEED YOU. I DON'T WANT YOU IN MY LIFE. NOW I HAVE TO GO AND FIND MY FRIEND THAT I MADE WITHOUT YOUR HELP." 

Dean turned away and left without looking back at Sam who was standing with his mouth open. 

Jess grabbed his arm before he could move away, "Sam, I think you should look at this." 

She handed him a note, "Dean gave it to me while you were arguing with Professor Novak." 

Sam glanced down at the note and sat down heavily, blushing as the words sank in, "Professor Novak?" he asked weakly and started reading the note barely hearing the "Yes, he teaches English Lit, I know someone who as him a professor," that Jess gave in answer. 

Sam had to reread the note twice the words not making sense, "Jess I am sorry I made you feel uncomfortable. Sam should have asked you first. I hope you two are very happy together. Be kind to him because I am not going to be. Angry words are true words. And the truth hurts. Dean " 

Sam looked at Jess, tears in his eyes, "Angry words are true words and the truth hurts. I hurt him and I didn't know. All his life I hurt him without knowing it or caring that I was hurting him. Because people thought I was so brave and selfless, taking care of my poor brother, letting him hang out with me and my friends, even though he couldn't speak and I resented every minute of it and then I left and never gave him a second thought. And then he showed up and I felt so small, telling him he could stay and I was glad he was finally doing things alone but thinking that he would expect me to give up my life for him again. Only to find out he didn't want or need me around all the time and only wanted me to share his life, not take it over and now he's gone." 

Sam managed a watery smile, "And only Dean could tell me he's gay while shouting at me to leave him alone."


	7. Chapter 7

Cas hurried out of the coffee shop, hoping that he would be able to catch Dean before he got too far. 

He smiled when he noticed the Impala still sitting in the same place, he had only known Dean for a couple of hours but he knew enough to know that Dean wouldn't leave his baby. He thought for a moment before leaning against the car. 

Sooner or later Dean would come back to his car and Cas would be able to apologize to him and hopefully, Dean would still want to be friends, and maybe later become more than friends. 

Losing himself in pleasant thoughts of Dean becoming more than his friend, Cas was startled when the coffee shop door flew open and a very angry Dean stormed out and over to the car. "My idiot brother thinks that I need protection. That I'm useless and need his help to make friends. Well fuck him I don't need him and how dare he abuse you when the only thing you've done is treat me like I'm a person. Not a damn pity case. Sonofabitch." 

Cas held up his hands, "Dean calm down, and take a deep breath. Now, how about we go back to our place if you still want to move in with me and still want to be my friend."

Dean took a deep breath and Cas could see him visibly calming himself down, "I would like to be your friend Cas if you can forgive me for the way I just acted. And I would love to go back to our place, I'm feeling rather tired for some reason." 

Dean smiled at Cas, who smiled back "Let's go then, I know a great pizza place that delivers." 

Twenty minutes later Dean was moved into the spare room and the two men were eating pizza and talking about everything but what had happened at the coffee shop. 

***

Several hours later Dean was yawning and apologizing, "Sorry Cas, I didn't sleep well last night and with the coffee shop and Sam, I guess I'm more tired than I thought." 

Cas smiled, "No problem Dean, I too am feeling tired and am ready to go to bed. There's coffee in the kitchen, if you get up before me and if you wake up at any time day or night and want to talk I'm here. Make yourself at home and I'll see you in the morning." 

Cas waved his hands in a shooing motion to the younger man, who smiled and took the hint. 

"Ok, ok, bossy. I'm going, I'm going. And Cas," Dean stopped and looked seriously at Cas, "Thank you for this. You may regret it in the morning but thank you." Dean quickly walked into his bedroom and shut the door before Cas could reply, but he heard the response anyway, "I won't regret it, Dean. Ever."


	8. Chapter 8

Several weeks later the two men had settled into a routine. Dean would get up first and make coffee, having learnt from the first day that Castiel really wasn't a morning person. 

After pouring himself the first cup Dean would make one for Cas andafter having drunk his first made a second for himself before taking Cas's into him and waving it under the older man's nose.

Dean always smiled at the moans and groans and pleas for "5 more minutes," and his personal favourite, "for the love of all that's holy please tell me that's coffee." 

Placing the cup in the hand of Cas, who sat up with his eyes closed until the first sip, Dean then went back for his own second cup, and started cooking breakfast. By the time he had finished cooking Cas was mobile and lucid. 

Cas cleaned up after breakfast while Dean showered, and then Dean got their books and papers together while Cas showered. 

Then the pair of them headed down to the Impala and Dean drove them to campus, if Dean didn't have morning classes he would go to the library or more often than not Cas would let him sit in the back of his classroom and listen in. 

Sometimes Dean surprised himself by asking questions and was stunned when Cas answered it like he actually was a student. 

***

Eventually Dean couldn't handle the curiosity anymore and just had to ask why.

"Hey Cas, don't take this the wrong way but why do you answer my questions even though I'm not actually in your class?" 

Dean and Cas were sitting in the coffee shop, enjoying the fact that it was Friday and they had no classes until Monday and they were meeting Jo, who had taken a liking to Cas as well. 

Cas stared at Dean, "I answer your questions Dean, because they are well thought out and are relevant to what I'm teaching. I wish some of my other students listened half as well as you do. I love teaching people who want to learn, and a few of my students have come up to me and asked who you were so they could thank you. They were having trouble understanding some of the work and didn't know what questions to ask, and then suddenly there is someone who is able to ask the questions they can't." 

Dean blushed, "No they didn't Cas. They can't have, I'm not as smart as the people in your class." 

Cas reached over the table and lightly smacked Dean in the head, "You're right Dean you aren't as smart as some of the people in my class," he stopped and smiled, "You're smarter than most of them. I have spoken to your teachers and they agree with me. Both Anna Milton and Frank Devereaux have said to me that you already at the top of their classes."

Dean blushed harder as he heard a familiar voice chime in above his head, "Thank you Cas, I've been telling Dean for years that he is smarter than me. Maybe now he will start believing it himself," Jo wrapped her arms around her brothers neck and kissed his cheek before sliding in beside him. 

Another familiar voice joined in, "Yeah, Frank has told Dean that he can't teach him anything else so Dean can start teaching the class instead, he was joking but only a little." 

Charlie leaned over and hugged Dean as well before sliding in next to Cas and stuck out her hand, "Hi I'm Charlie Bradbury and I'm Dean's voice in Com Tech, and Jo's friend, and who are you?" 

Cas shook it, "I'm Castiel, Dean's flatmate, and it's nice to finally put a face to the name." 

Dean shook his head, "Professor Castiel Novak, English Lit and my friend. And the one who kept me here. No offence Jo, but if not for Cas I probably would have gone back home," Dean smiled at his sister apologetically. 

"No offence taken Dean, I would have gone home too if I were in your shoes and he said those things to me. I'm still tempted to punch that sasquatch in the nose especially after he told me he was proud of you for leaving everything behind. I don't know if I mentioned this Cas but I'm really glad you were here for Dean. You are more than a friend, you're like family." 

Cas blushed and Charlie quickly changed the subject asking the two men if they wanted another coffee and when they agreed asked Jo to come and help her get them. 

Cas looked down at the table when he notice a hand covering his. 

He looked up to see Dean looking at him, "Jo is right Cas, you are more than a friend. You are family, but not the way Jo means," Dean blushed as he struggled to find the words, "What I mean is, I know I don't have any experience with relationships but over the past few weeks you have been there for me. You gave me a place to stay even after I told you my sordid story and my brother yelled at you in public. You don't care that I still wake up in the middle of the night, you still come in and sit with me until I'm ready to go back to sleep and you don't complain. You even eat my cooking and even better you love pie. I guess what I'm saying is Castiel Novak, I have fallen in love with you and I want to be with you for as long as you want me to be." 

Dean dropped his hands into his lap and looked at the table. He didn't hear anything and feeling embarrassed tried to slide out of the booth. 

He gasped with surprise when he felt a body block his way and he looked up to see a smiling but blushing Cas beside him. 

"I love you Dean Winchester. I don't care about your past, it made you the man I fell for and if a little nightmare means more time to spend with you then who am I to complain. And if you didn't cook for me I would still be eating pie for breakfast. I love you and I'm yours for as long as you want me." 

Cas lowered his lips and kissed Dean for the first time, neither man hearing the cheers coming from the patrons in the coffee shop, Jo and Charlie being the loudest.


	9. Chapter 9

A few days later Dean and Cas were again sitting in the same booth on the same side this time, Dean visibly nervous, "What if he doesn't show up? What if he hates you? What if he hates me?" 

Cas grabbed Dean's hands to stop him, "If he doesn't show up, it's his loss. I'm not in love with him, I'm in love with you so I don't care what he feels for me. And he doesn't hate you, he loves you. You're his big brother." 

Dean and Cas looked up when a voice agreed, "He's right, I love you Dean and I'm sorry for what I said to you. Will you forgive me?"   
Dean jumped up and grabbed Sam with a huge hug, not needing words, spoken or signed to show his little brother how he felt. 

After a minute Dean sat down next to Cas and Sam reached behind him, "I hope you don't mind but Jess wanted to come too."   
Jess smiled nervously, "I wanted to come and say sorry to you in person Dean. I was rude and selfish and I hope you can forgive me." 

Dean smiled and nodded, "If you can both forgive me. Maybe we can start again?" 

Dean waited for Sam to translate but Jess surprised him by holding out her hand, "Hello, I'm Jessica Moore and Sam has told me about you, Dean." 

She laughed at Dean's face, "I had Sam teach me to sign Dean, so we can talk properly, but I'm still not very good at it." 

Dean smiled, "Hello Jess, may I call you Jess? Sam has told me nothing about you. I think it's wonderful that you took the time to learn." Dean gestured to the man sitting next to him, "May I introduce you both to my partner Castiel Novak. Cas, this is my brother Sam and his girlfriend Jess." 

Cas laughed, "At least Dean asked you if he could call you Jess, he called me Cas and didn't ask if I minded." 

Dean stared at him, a faux offended look on his face, "Hey, I asked if it was alright." 

Cas smiled at him, "No actually Dean, you called me Cas from the start two or three times and when I pointed it out to you, you said that Castiel was too long." 

Dean blushed and pouted as the other three laughed. 

"Actually Dean, Jess and I have some news," Sam reached out and grabbed Jess's hand, "She's not my girlfriend, she's actually my fiancee." 

Dean jumped up and hugged both Sam and Jess before sitting back down, "That's awesome, have you told Jo yet?" 

Sam nodded, "Yeah, we were just over there, Jo squealed and nearly deafened me. And then she demanded to be made best man. I told her that she would have to second best man because my big brother is the best man." 

Dean blushed, "Really Sammy, you want me to be best man?" and he hid his face in Cas's neck to hide his tears. 

Giving him a few moments Jess explained to Cas that she knew someone in his class and soon Dean joined in the conversation. 

A few hours later the two couples left but not before agreeing to meet up again.

Cas turned to Dean and wrapped his arm around the younger man waist as they watched the other couple walk away hand in hand, 

"See, I told you everything would be fine. Now I want to go back home before my gorgeous boyfriend finds out I had coffee with another man and gets jealous and dumps me." 

Dean pulled Cas close and kissed him, "Maybe I want your gorgeous boyfriend to find out about us. Then we could be together. And I bet I'm a better kisser than he is." 

Cas laughed, "You might have to kiss me again so I can compare." Dean smiled and kissed Cas again, "No, I think I might stay with my gorgeous boyfriend. He is a much better kisser," Cas laughed. 

"Your boyfriend is a very lucky man," Dean smiled at Cas's confused face, "Because he has a gorgeous boyfriend who thinks he is a great kisser."


	10. Chapter 10

Three months later Dean was nervously pacing while Cas tried to calm him down, "It's going to be fine Dean, you told them about us as soon as there was an us and they were happy for you. Now will you come here so you can fix my tie for me?" 

Dean stopped pacing and glared at Cas, "You can do it yourself you know." 

Cas smiled, "Please Dean, you can do it better than anyone else. Please?" 

Dean glared at him before smiling slyly and stalking over to Cas with a dangerous look in his eyes, "I know what you are doing Cas and it won't work." 

Dean grabbed the tie and pulled the older man closer, "You're trying to distract me from the fact I caught you kissing another man outside the coffee shop three months ago. You didn't think I was there but I was meeting Sam and his new fiancee and I saw you." 

Dean stepped back and smiled so Cas knew he was teasing. 

Cas laughed, "Did you hear me tell him that I thought my gorgeous boyfriend was a better kisser. And he said you were lucky because he had me." 

Dean smiled wider, "I believe he called you gorgeous. And thank you. For calming me down." 

Dean leaned in and kissed him quickly, "And for the record I think my gorgeous boyfriend is the better kisser." 

Cas blushed as Dean quickly fixed his tie just as the doorbell rang, "Jo's here, now lets go to your brother's engagement party so I can finally meet Bobby and Ellen." 

Cas returned the kiss and led his boyfriend over to the door so they could celebrate with their family. 

Entering the hall that Sam and Jess had hired Dean looked around to find Bobby and Ellen,with their backs to the door, talking to Sam and Jess. 

Grabbing Cas's hand he slowly walked over to them, nerves fluttering in his stomach. 

Reaching them he tapped them on the shoulder and winced at the high pitched squeal Ellen let out, "Baby, I missed you. Texting just isn't the same. You look great," she grabbed him in a huge hug. 

"Step aside woman and let the boy go, you're choking him," a gruff voice broke into the babbling that hadn't ceased. 

Ellen blushed and stepped back, "Sorry baby." 

Dean smiled at her, "That's all right Ellen, I missed you too," before turning to the owner of the other voice and hugging him for a minute before pulling back, "Hey Bobby, how's business." 

Bobby grabbed Dean in another hug, "Not as good since you left boy, but not bad." 

Dean reached behind him and grabbed Cas's hand and pulled him forward, wrapping an arm around his waist, "Bobby, Ellen I would like you to meet my boyfriend Castiel Novak. Cas, these are my parents, Bobby and Ellen." 

Cas held out his hand to both of them in turn, "Nice to meet you both, Dean has told me so much about you both that it's nice to be able to put names to the faces." 

Ellen and Bobby agreed with him and agreeing to meet in the morning for breakfast, excused themselves to go with Sam and Jess to meet her parents. 

"Now that wasn't so bad was it Dean?" Cas asked as wrapped his own arms around Dean and kissing him lightly. "Now we can relax and enjoy the party and be glad it's not us going through it." 

Dean stiffened and dropped his arms, "You mean you don't want to get married to me one day Cas?" and he walked away quickly to stand next to Jo, before Cas could explain what he meant. 

For the next hour Cas tried to apologise to Dean only to have every I'm sorry cut off by Dean introducing him to someone else or saying it was time for food. 

Eventually Dean pulled him outside for privacy, "Please Cas, wait until we get home. I don't want everyone to know our business and since my family know how to sign they will know we are fighting and I don't want to spoil Sam and Jess's party." 

Cas nodded sadly, "All right Dean, let's go pretend to be happy for everyone." 

He walked back into the party, missing the look of sadness on Dean's face. 

***

The next few hours were the longest of Cas's life, he smiled and laughed at the speeches, even Dean's (he told the story of Jo being second best, man), and cheered when Sam and Jess kissed when they cut the cake. 

He smiled and laughed and cheered even though he felt his heart break. 

After saying goodbye to everyone, and Jo deciding to spend the night with Bobby and Ellen in their hotel room, the unhappy pair headed home in an unusualy uncomfortable silence. 

As soon as they shut the door behind them Dean was the first to speak, "I'm sorry Cas, I shouldn't have said anything. I was nervous about you meeting Bobby and Ellen and I took your comment the wrong way. And I shouldn't have said we would spoil the party by fighting. I was wrong. Please forgive me?" 

Cas looked into green eyes that had tears shimmering in them and taking the couple of steps that separated them pulled the younger man into his arms, "Dean, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that I didn't want to get married, I meant that I was glad we didn't have to make small talk with a lot of strangers," he bent his head and kissed Dean lightly. 

"In fact I was going to wait for a better time but," he let go of Dean and knelt down on one knee in front of him, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a ring box. 

"Dean Winchester, I started to fall in love with you when I first saw you sitting in my booth in the diner, eating pie and asking a complete stranger to join you and I saw your face light up when you realised I signed back. When you first told me you loved me, you told me you wanted to be with me for as long as I wanted you. Well I want to be with you forever, if you'll have me," he opened the box to reveal a silver ring set with an emerald, "Dean Winchester, will you marry me?" 

Dean smiled and kissed Cas, "You beat me to it Cas," and he pulled a matching ring box out of his pocket and handed it to Cas, "Castiel Novak, I started to love you when I heard you moan over a mouthful of pie. I fell completely in love when I told you my life story and you still treated me like a person and not an object of pity. And then you told someone who had known me my whole life that he didn't know me . The first time you told me you loved me you told me you were mine for as long as I wanted you. You're mine forever, Castiel Novak," Dean gently took back his ring box and opening it showed Cas a matching silver ring set with a sapphire instead of an emerald, he handed it back to Cas to finish, "Will YOU marry ME?" 

Dean kissed Cas again, "And just for the record, Yes Castiel Novak. Yes I will marry you and I want to be with you forever."   
Cas laughed and slid the emerald ring onto Dean's finger before replying, "And so there is no misunderstanding, Yes Dean Winchester. Yes I will marry you and I am yours forever." 

Dean smiled and slipped the sapphire ring onto Cas's finger before they kissed deeply.


	11. Chapter 11

Epilogue

Three months after Sam and Jess got married and twelve months to the day after the dual proposal Dean and Cas stood outside of the room where their family and friends where waiting for them to exchange their vows.

"Dean, could you fix my tie please?" Cas asked his fiance and when Dean stepped closer to Cas to fix his tie whispered, "I love you, Dean."

And Dean, leaning closer to his soon to be groom, his lips next to the older man's ear, stunned Cas when he spoke his first words since he was 4 years old, "I Love You Cas."

***

And a few minutes later Dean and Cas enjoyed the stunned looks on the faces of their family and friends when both Castiel and Dean spoke the words out loud, that joined them forever at the same time as each other. "I Do"


End file.
